A timeless experience far from home

Sitting at my desk, I glance at the clock on my computer's screen and it's 10AM. I look at it again, it's become 2PM. What happened? "It's alright, it's just time passing", my brain tells me. But something is missing. It doesn't tell me, what have I done during that time. So I began to "consciously" track my activities, taking a glance at the clock more often. It doesn't help. In fact, it's distracting and I often find myself jumping from one thing to another, unrelated things. I have to admit, this is procrastination taking over. Knowing that I sometimes feel powerless over my own self, losing control, worrying about not making it in time and not able to accomplish my goals. And that is part of it. Btw I'm in my late 20s so the fact about time awareness accelerating during this age is actually applying. Things like "I remember it as it was yesterday" are not a surprise to me anymore. Watching the dates change seems like watching seconds ticking away. Sometimes it's really scary. Scary that I'm losing control.

Right now I'm far away from home, far away from anyone I know, to chase after my foggy dream of becoming a scientist. Until now, I still have little idea about doing research, seriously. The thing about doing such work is that most of the time you are just wandering around, not doing anything "purposeful". Scholars are a bunch of "hopeful" people. And so usually, we hope that we can bring something valuable, and if not, we will try to make it valuable, to the world. One month has passed since I moved to Madrid. Living in lockdown for two weeks due to the virus prevention measure has been affecting my work in a certain way. But I can't blame it because I know that if I really wanted to progress, I could. I made a bad call. I brought work from home, which now I know was not a good idea. But what choice do I have?

So what to do? I have to quickly come up with a solution!