Love therapy

 

"The impulses of women have always been a mystery to me"

Women are like cats when it comes to dating and that they tend to stick around to find out more about guys who are mysterious, unpredictable, and exciting versus guys who are an open book, boring, and predictable.

Being mysterious is akin to not knowing the ending to a movie release so you can enjoy living in the present moment and the movie as it unfolds in real-time. Being predictable is akin to reading and knowing all the spoilers, major plot points, and the ending of the movie before going to watch it and telling everyone what you know before they see the movie.

The juice of life is living in the present moment where the future is never guaranteed or certain despite the fact human beings have a fundamental need for certainty. Getting to "know" each other, shouldn't be like a job interview. It's kind of like a movie. You want her to watch the movie, to enjoy the movie, to be wondering what's gonna come next. "What's he's gonna do next? He's so unpredictable!"

The average guy goes on a date and he's thinking he's gotta get all his cards on the table, talking all about his whole life history, his exes, and all the relationships that didn't work out, what he does for a living, like on a job interview, hoping he's gonna get hired.

Afterward, she's like: "alright I pretty much know what this guy's all about, probably not going out with him again cuz he's pretty boring and predictable", and before you know it, she's on the next guy. Women love mystery. That's a fact and you gotta work that out.

You want to create the conditions where the woman is going to want to ask you, cuz if she's interested in you, your life, your hopes, and your dreams, she's gonna want to know those things. And if she doesn't care or she's just there for a free meal, or if she's just out with you cuz it's better than sitting at home and doing nothing, then she's not gonna ask you anything. You want to make sure she's the one by looking past all the things on the outside and get to know the person on a deeper level.

They also should have to earn the chance to be with you as well. It shouldn't be so one-sided where you are just hoping that they like you. If you tell her everything about you, you'll become boring. If you really like someone, don't do that to them. It's just like telling the whole plot to a movie and know the movie is going to end. Why do we need to sit here and watch the movie if we already know how it's going to end. People get mad because of someone spoiling a good movie for a reason. It turns everybody off.

You want her to work to get to know you. Let her ask. Don't be too predictable. Change it up. The idea of being mysterious is that if you care if you like her, you don't want to go out and repeat the same thing over and over again. Don't become boring and predictable like the movie that you've already seen ten times. You want her to wonder about you, when are you gonna call or if you're going to call, when is she gonna see you next. As these things go through her mind, she's gonna become more curious and interested in you and therefore she's gonna reach out to you on her own., cuz she needs to find out where she stands with you.

By not volunteering everything and being unpredictable and having a life of your own, goals, missions, purpose, business, career, friends, hobbies, taking care of your family, taking care of yourself, being that fun, interesting guy. Just having a busy life helps enable you to appear mysterious. It's not about playing games with her. It's about allowing her to pursue you. Just be yourself and pursue your goal.

When she has a reason to be curious to ask about your behaviors, you're unpredictable, you don't call the same time, you don't do the same thing on every single date, every time you get together... Sometimes let her do it, sometimes you do it. Just never know for sure. Be different, be exciting, put some thought, put some effort into it.

It's like show business, it's about leaving them wanting more and more, every TV show, every movie, there's always a cliffhanger, there's always some emotional tension that doesn't get resolved. The only way to get it resolved is by tuning in the next week or you go see the sequel when it finally comes out so you can resolve that tension. That's the mindset, that's the whole philosophy behind this. It's not about being evasive every time she asks you a question. 

The key is to be unpredictable, to be different, don't just be like everybody else. However, it's not a matter of manipulation. If you focus on your mission and your purpose in life and being awesome at that, and dating and courting her properly, not volunteering everything and letting her ask you about it. Then you can share and tell her about it.

If a woman loves you and cares about you, she's gonna ask you, she's gonna know what you've been up to, And when you tell her, when you share, she will be excited for you and she'll be your biggest cheerleader.

Also, as a man, you've got to be the one who goes for what you want. And if she is reluctant, you've got to make it clear to her that you are willing to walk away and never look back, unless she's willing to show up and have this kind of mutual relationship where you both are contributing.